Day 100

Everyday I have to be strong.
Every day I am the one who helps.

Who helps me? Who keeps me strong?
I am falling apart within these four walls and not a single person knows.

The Revolt Under My Skin

I feel a revolt,
Straight under my skin,
It bubbles inside me,
And refuses to be kept within,
Your hackles and chains,
Cannot hold the untamed,
Your words and your 'wisdoms',
Cannot cure my rage,
The fire is hot,
And it burns bright green,
Though all is not true,
Some is not seen.

By Lois French

Tailoring a Garment

I may not be the idealistic girl of perfect features, immense cooking skills and sustain the ability to stay awake through mammoth talks of things she, evidently, does not understand because she is woman. However, I am me, me is perfectly fitting to myself and to those who do not find it fitting will not be able to tailor me like a garment.

Some Days

Some days are better than others. The others tend to be a big pile of bull crap and you doing the herding of that bull crap.

Failing the social etiquette.

I suppose what it all starts with is the tendency to cohere to these long held beliefs of behaving a certain way, but honestly maybe thats where it ends.

For us, being creatures of vast comfort, we take great pleasure in blending in with what everyone else does around us. We copy cat, our parents, from what their parents copy catted their parents doing and so on and so forth. We pick up these sayings of 'politeness' and expressions that put us higher up on the list of social etiquette. But honestly? What does it prove? Already I have held the attention of a few people who read this by using some fairly flamboyant words (did you catch that last one?) but really all I'm doing is laughing in the face of the social standards of nowadays.

I've just put a nice coating on it. Just as the hand shake you gave to the guy you decided not to hire gave a nice coating to 'Thanks, but no thanks.'


Or how about that dinner party? The one where you smiled and laughed in the right and appropriate places. Shook hands endlessly with streams of people you didn't know. How many of their faces did you actually remember? How many times did you say 'We'll get in touch.' You never did. In fact I almost dread hearing those words.

You may as well of said, 'Honestly, for the last five minutes I haven't really heard a word you've said. However, I don't want to bring that to your attention, in the unfortunate case you may find I am not so superior. So I suppose I'll make it seem like you had some affect on me by trying to get us to meet up in the future. Though I have no intention.'

What was the point? Some people may stand on their tip toes screaming obscenities about politeness and being considerate of others so I'd just like to say that I am not disregarding manners. The 'pleases' and 'thank you's' that see us pleasantly through each day. The phrases that help us ask for things and show appreciation. I am merely devastated by the amount of falseness in our behaviour towards society.

I am not totally shunning the use of all of these expressions. They help people to know where they stand with a person. It's like the bridging the gap between shakings a mans hand to giving that man a hug. But sometimes they have their flaws... It's like Michael McIntyres famous sketch where one man thinks you have reached the hugging stage but the other still believes you are at a hand shaking level.
You're left with one awkward meeting dance of half hugs and squashed hands.